We were back in MN this weekend, for Ben's cousin's going-away get together. She's going to be living overseas for the next 4 years or so with her family, so it was our last chance for some time to see her. While we were there, we visited our old church (as in 3-4 churches ago, ack!) and they have been going through the Ten Commandments. They were on "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." (KJV) So, in modern language--don't lie. And herein lies the problem, as Dr. House says, "Everybody lies." And we often dismiss our lies, as "white" lies, that we say don't hurt anyone. But, if everybody lies, and we all know this, than how do we trust anyone else? The truth of the matter is, we don't. We rarely trust the people around us and that does hurt. Have you ever been accused of lying when you didn't? I have! And you know what, it made me distrust the person accusing me a little. It made me wonder whether he was telling me the whole truth.
Our relationships need to be based on love and trust. When that trust is broken, or even perceived to be broken, we have issues. If we have a pattern of lying, others don't feel that they can trust us and telling one lie often leads to another and another, until the snowball effect is that we are telling even bigger lies and more of them, in order for our first lie to not be found out. It can get out of hand very quickly. So, as the old saying goes, "honesty is the best policy." Have I gotten in trouble because I've told the truth, but someone didn't like it. Yup, I am sure you have, as well. But, in the end, would it have been better to tell a lie, no.
Now, I remember, several years ago, I was in a Bible Study with some other people from my church and we were discussing lying and one of the other people in the group asks, "Well, what if I tell my daughter-in-law that I like her casserole, when really I think it tastes like wallpaper paste?" It's a lie. It's said so that someone else saves face, perhaps, if one is asked directly. Most people don't want to say that the food is awful if someone else took the time to prepare it for you. I know I don't! So, what do you do or say? Do you get creative with your answer, or not really answer it? I think that's pretty much what we decided that night. For example, with the casserole, you could say, "It had an interesting texture" or "Where'd you get the recipe?" Sometimes you want to be careful, though, you might be eating that casserole every time you visit, because someone thinks you REALLY like it! lol It's hard, but honesty is the best policy, every time. What do you do/say when you are put into a position where you either have to lie or put someone else or their efforts down?